In Memory of George Reash
So this is what it comes down to,
after a long life friendship,
our final offerings of affection,
strong hugs as you befriend mystery.
Now your body turns away from what it knows
toward the unfathomable we can never know
but simply trust with all that is our life.
Thirty years ago you gathered men together,
no rules, except three:
No work.
No cars.
No sports.
Just life – the smooth rough rocky road,
the heartfelt details of our daily lives,
stuff men don’t talk about, not even to themselves.
We did not sit mute as one would expect knowing
how these rules might severely silence men.
Instead, you gave us a way,
with beer and supper,
to talk hard with each other,
troubles, joys, matters of the heart.
Most of what you taught we didn’t know we were learning
until life demanded wisdom and we knew the source was you.
Slowly over time, we realized what we were learning
was the wonder of the masculine bond deep in the gut,
men bound by the strength of courageous vulnerability.
Now, because of you, we are a band of brothers.
Without you we would be only loosely allied,
the back slap, the shoulder punch, the knuckle bump,
the braggadocios story told to far surpass the rest.
Through you we got each other, lean and honest,
and a little bit afraid to be who men could be
when free of trying to be the disembodied
smiling shirts on the men’s store manikin.
We are three-dimensional, flawed and fluid old men now,
reviewing who we were and viewing who we have become,
still choosing to become even more of what you dreamed
we could be, together and alone.
Now, George, we say thank you with hearts full of affection,
and sight blurred through eyes brimming tears,
we say goodnight.
___________________________________________
George Reash (1932-2016) football coach, high school principal,
founder of a men’s support group that has met for over 30 years,
who taught us that men could speak with each other about things
of the heart.